Photo:
Grant Gunderson

See also Contest 01: Chairlift Encounter

This Is Not a Test
By LESLIE ANTHONY

Error. Fuck. Press the button again. Same thing—just some digital facsimile of "Er" candy-apple red on the screen. Why am I thinking that? Goddammit! Press it again. No, wait. You've already done it five times! Try something else. Ok, ok, ok. Uh... Battery check. Maybe that's it. No, no it's good—92 percent, same as this morning. Ninety-two freaking per cent, it has to work... Ok. New plan. Turn it off. That's it. Alright, now turn on... Good... Switch to receive and ... BEEEEP BEEEEP. Shit, oh my god, oh my god that was it—it wasn't on receive. Am I a goddamn idiot or what? I mean how many times have I done this before... Hey! Never mind that shit just forget whether you're an idiot or not or what you've done and just stop thinking... Now! Oh god, he's in here, right in front of me, so close, oh man—hold the thing still. Level. Sweep. BEEEEP BEEEEP. Ok, ok stop frickin' shaking you idiot and focus. Breathe. No! Don't hold the breath in, let it out. Let it out! Oh man, right here, right here, right frickin' here. Less than a meter, has to be here... Move that snow. Move the big pieces first. Why'd we leave our packs in the lodge? It's ok, you can use a ski to dig if you have to but it's not great 'cause remember when you tried to dig out that... Holy shit! That's blood, right here. Ok, that's a good sign... Maybe... Slow down, move the snow gently... Yes! Hair, that's Ben's hair... Back or side? Too much blood... Where's his head? Where is his goddamn head? Bloody piece of scalp and hair attached to fucking nothing... No, no, no, it's on this side, this piece is just folded away. Ok, ok, ok. Awwww you've got to be freaking kidding me, he scalped himself! "Ben! Ben! Come on. That's it, move a bit, cool." Push up man. Push up... Alright. "Hey man, listen. You got a bad cut on your scalp (that's an understatement), bit of a flap hanging down. I'm going to put this hat on your head to hold it on and stop the blood. Just sit tight, man... You're going to be fine." You can't die!


                                                                                     Next: number 1


 Discuss this story in our Workshop forum